Romance Novels and Libido

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As a marriage counselor and sex therapist, one of the most common complaints I hear about from couples is the disparity in their sexual interest. Generally, the male is far and away more interested in having sex more often. Factoring out age differences, physical health, prior trauma, etc. males have sex on the brain most of the time, and evolved to have testosterone as their primary hormone. This assures survival of the species. Females have less testosterone, but enough to find a mate and produce offspring, especially since she is regularly chased around the bedroom until she says “yes.” Luckily, orgasms are not necessary for fertility.

Fantasy, however, plays a huge part in a woman’s participation and enjoyment of sex. Often you hear men saying that they try to think about baseball or something non-sexual to stall off premature ejaculation. This rarely works, as most men will tell you. However, ask a woman what happens if she should think about baseball or anything non-sexual and blammo!, the party’s over. Women need to have a rolodex of sexual fantasies in their heads to help them keep this focus on sex and not on the grocery list. Romance novels provide women with a fresh supply of sexual scenes and scenarios which they can call up once the action begins. A juicy novel may even lead her to want to seek out her mate to try out some of the things she’s read about. It’s a win-win situation!